miscellaneous and a new year’s wish

wrote these in the past couple of months… but didn’t have the photos to compliment them. also, you will have to read to the end to get my new year’s greeting.

スキダ | like | 좋다

でもね 言えない。

but i can’t say.

하지만 못 말해.

いつか | someday | 언젠가

一緒に散歩しよう。

let’s walk together.

같이 산첵하자.

永遠に | forever | 영원히

忘れられないから。

so we can remember.

그레서 잊을 수 없어.

they lay their heads in the cafe to escape the remains of the day.

너무 예쁜데 너무 싫어…

비 왔어.

어떻게?

매일매일 일해야해…

but is that really the way you wanna play?

i can think of better ways to spend my days.

너무 예쁜데 산책할거같에.

눈이올게.

매일매일 일해야해…

aren’t you ever you every gonna look my way?

someday maybe we will find our way.

글쎄 글쎄…

너무 예쁜데 너무 좋아?

나중에 집에갈게…

나중에 샤워할게…

나중에 와인 맛실게…

나중에 전화할게…

나중에 잘게…

나중에 나중에… 뭐할게?

나증에 좋을때 키스할게?

하지만… 기금… 뭐해?

and for those of you who know me well you’ll know that i almost never make new year’s resolutions.

my resolution is for the new year but also for life in general: to find a fulfilling love and to speak more.

so happy new year everyone- stay warm and be happy~

words

it’s kind of funny…

my mother always tells me that when i was a baby she knew that i could understand adult conversations.

but that i wouldn’t speak until i turned 2.

“you wouldn’t speak until you could speak perfectly”

although i’ve changed and grown as a person i think deep down i’m still that tiny, little baby who wouldn’t talk.

sometimes i wonder, ‘how could my 1 year old self have so much fear?’

babies and children fear nothing because they know nothing of the world.

did i already know the world at less than 2?

i couldn’t have.

but… still… i can’t stand to say anything unless the words are perfect.

i can understand the most complex of things but i can barely manage to say ‘hello’.

what could i possibly fear?

did i fear, do i fear that by opening my mouth i am opening my heart?

did i fear, do i fear that if i open my hear that my heart will be broken again?

as a baby i am sure that all i wanted was to not be alone.

as a grown person i am sure that i want the same.

it’s kind of funny…

i want to tell that baby that you don’t need to be perfect to be loved.

but i can’t say a word.

so sorry: letters from an unknown sender

i don’t know what to do.

i don’t know what to say now that my muscles have melted away.

i was so strong and so confident when i came here.

now i’m reduced to skin and bones.

i have nothing left to bare other than my soul.

unfortunately my soul is an uncomfortable one to bare.

this is my ugly truth.

please bear with me while i fumble and stumble over my words and through my emotions.

at the end of the day i just can’t stand to walk home alone.

i can’t take back the things i’ve done. i can’t say the words i should have said.

in the end there is no one to blame but myself for my errors.

i was the one who made the decision to not do the things i should have done and to not say the things i should have said.

i cannot and will not forget.

i will move on but my memories will linger for far longer than is useful or necessary.

i will always have questions that will never be answered.

the only problems i can solve are the ones that will come.

the only things i can do are the things that will come.

the only words i can say are the ones that have yet to come into my head.

once again in my life i am looking to be saved- but why can’t i, for once in my life, be the one to do the saving?

sans photo deux

beautiful disaster.

is that what i am?

22 september

human again.

23 september

夢の中

変な言葉や

聞こえるよ

누구세요?

please tell me the way to go

because 몰라요.

친구를 몰라 봤어?

「아니」말하세요.

que sera sera

whatever will be will be.

24 september

so much to do so little time

but if you smile everything will be fine

아니면 뭐할거야?

25 september

sleep doesn’t wanna leave my eyes

still groggy from last night

i think i’ll stay in tonight

i can see the disaster but not the beauty.

i am only repeating the lyrics of a song.

sans photo

no photo. no passion. passion is fashion. is pain pleasure?

this is me at my most narcissistic and real.

10 september

slow is fast.

fast is slow.

either way we will find our way to go.

when you forget your heart is dead.

when you are busy you heart is dead.

12 september

どうしよう？너무 피곤해요. but i can’t go home

if i quit today, i will quit every day going forward.

14 september

행복한사람 되고싶어… 뭐가 필요해?

15 september

stand by me~~ ^^*

17 september

오랫동안 자고싶은데…寝るが来ない。

21 september

today i wanted to cry,

wonderin’ why,

this little life of mine,

has to be so hard.

but i couldn’t let those tears fall-

my eyeliner and mascara would’ve run.

目を閉じるたびに悩みだけ見える。